Welcome back to Blasphemous Nutrition! I am your host Aimee, and while I’m no spring chicken, I by no means have any intentions of transitioning into a tough, old bird just yet! For fellow Gen Xers out there, I’m sure you notice your social media feed is constantly reminding you that you are getting older and encouraging you to try all the things to delay and deny the inevitability of aging. I’m curious if men are getting this kind of bullshit as well, but my hubster avoids social media like the plague, so any male listeners are going to have to message me and spill the tea!
While I have largely rejected cultural norms that encourage us to obsess and cling hopelessly to youth, I am also a product of my culture and am not immune to the desire to not just feel as good as possible as I age, but look decent while doing so. I have admittedly grown more vain as I’ve gotten older but most of what I have started doing in my forties is really about making sure I can do what I want for as long as I want. A bonus is that many of these things do, in fact, assist us in maintaining a more energetic demeanor and youthful appearance as we get older. Who says you can’t have it both ways?
Even if you aren’t feeling older, implementing these habits now will allow you to step into your 50s and 60s running laps around your peers and keep you out of the hospital and independently living well into your elder years. Our nutrient and movement needs change throughout our life cycle, and while we recognize this in childhood and adolescence, after adulthood we tend not to give it much thought, unless pregnant or nursing. Yet habits integrated now can not only help you feel years younger than you are, but they will also allow you to age like a damn fine wine.
So, without further adieu, here are 7 habits I’ve implemented in my fourth decade!
Sleep - Oh, sleep! You are a fickle sonofabitch these days, but the foundation of all my dreams! Sleep deprivation hits harder now than in college years, and as we age and cellular activities begin to slow down a bit, sleep becomes that much more crucial. Sleep is where our athletic gains are made and where our body and brain clean up shop and prepare for all the activities in our waking hours. In the deepest stages of sleep, our body releases testosterone and human growth hormone which allow us to build muscle and recover from our workouts. Lack of REM sleep has a negative impact on memory, and sleep apnea is seen as a risk factor for dementia later in life, so it is nothing to skimp on if it can be helped.
Sleep deprivation also jacks up multiple hormones, not only increasing our appetite and cravings for sugary and starchy foods, but also reducing insulin sensitivity which encourages elevated glucose levels, weight gain, and inflammation. Chronic sleep deprivation is also shown to accelerate aging by shortening telomeres on our DNA - very literally shortening our healthspan and lifespan!
Rest is the foundation of health and a nonnegotiable if you are looking to avoid chronic disease and maintain a stellar quality of life. If you struggle to sleep or do not sleep well, I highly encourage you to seek out a sleep specialist and do what you can to create an evening routine more supportive of sleep if you’ve not yet done so.
How much sleep do you need? That depends, but 8-9 hours of sleep is generally recommended. My body likes 8.5-9 hours, and that’s what I aim for most nights of the week. Given that I am at a stage of life where good sleep is a bit of a crapshoot, this means getting in bed up to 10 hours before I need to wake up so I have more opportunities to accumulate rest if I have a bad night. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely!
Protein - this should be no surprise if you’ve been listening to Blasphemous Nutrition or been scrolling the socials this past year. Sufficient protein supports healthy aging by preserving muscle mass, a healthy immune system, and keeps diabetes at bay through glucose regulation and the fact that muscle mass is a major consumer of glucose, so it keeps elevated levels from persisting in the bloodstream. Muscle also gives our body shape and helps prevent skin sagging during weight loss, since skin just isn’t as plump and elastic as it used to be! Keeping the muscle you have and adding to it is the insurance you need to stay active and mobile well into your 50’s 60’s and beyond. As estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone decline with age, our ability to hold onto muscle is compromised, so consuming more protein encourages muscle retention - not only by supplying sufficient protein to keep what we have, but also stepping in for those declining hormones to send a signal to the body to hold onto what we have. The goal? A meal containing 30-40 grams of protein at least twice a day to supply enough leucine to send the message to muscle mass to stay put. Also, aim for a total protein intake of 1 gram per pound of ideal body weight or 2.2 grams per kilogram of ideal body weight. I want to say again that sometimes this takes months to work up to, and if you are on a GLP-1 agonist, have a low appetite, are vegan or have had bariatric surgery, you may need to implement protein powders to accomplish this.
Seafood - Seafood really deserves to be in a food group all on its own. It’s mega-packed with minerals that are essential to supporting the immune system, keeping the liver happy, and is a great source of protein. Cold-water seafood, rich in omega-3 fatty acids, is also crucial for maintaining heart health, brain health, and eye health as we age. Seafood is king, my friends! I recommend getting 3 to 4 servings a week from a variety of shellfish, cold-water fish, and white fish, as each have different nutrient profiles to benefit you. My favorite way to get seafood in this seafood dip, which is my mainstay on busy weeks. If you are concerned about mercury in seafood, listen to episode 41 of Blasphemous Nutrition, where I do a deep dive into the mercury issue. I will say, that aside from getting a truck load of vegetables daily, adding more seafood in my diet has given me more tangible results than just about any dietary change outside of eliminating the foods which my body simply cannot tolerate. (I’m looking at you, gluten!) Getting seafood in weekly eliminated PMS symptoms, improved my liver function, and restored my immune system to a level of robustness I had not seen in 15 years. And with dementia rearing its ugly head in my family of origin, I cannot afford to deny my body this protective factor.
Weight Lifting - Weight lifting is not my first love. As a parent with limited time, I have prioritized my first love, running, for much longer than I should have. But in the last year I have traded in some of those hours on road and trail for a meeting with Iron. Lifting heavy shit does feel damn good, and it does great things for your physique that running just cannot match, but it doesn’t give me the quiet, contemplative solo time and endorphin rush that a good, long trail run does. Resistance Training is the other external factor that tells our body to hold onto or grow more muscle to keep us healthy and active in the decades to come. And when combined with adequate protein, the result can transform your body in ways you thought were genetically impossible. Now that I am solidly past the midpoint of my 40s, I could no longer kick the kettlebell down the road any longer. I have a very limited time to add to my muscular savings account and I need to get the habit locked in and make the most of it. I will say that my body responds better to weight lifting with regards to stress and recovery than it does to maintain half-marathon level fitness. If you tend to have a delicate central nervous system that is easily stressed out, and you’ve coped with your anxiety or depression through running long miles, you may need to hear this message. It is with great bitterness that I accept this reality, which I have been refusing to face for over a decade. However, I find solace in my rockin’ biceps and the fact that I can lift heavier than most of the men in my weightlifting class.
Stretching and Mobility Work - stretching is the ugly stepchild of the fitness industry, tossed up in the attic and neglected for the more hard-core cardio and strength pursuits that have made up our fitness goals for the duration of our lives. Ironically, I was sold onto stretching and religiously stretched after runs throughout my training for my first marathon, but when I performed so poorly, it was the only thing I threw out when I resumed training for the next. I find stretching boring, and being hypermobile, got away with neglecting it for decades. However, in the last year I noted that it was harder to maintain a pace I was accustomed to, my calves were often outrageously tender, and I started developing foot issues. After trying everything else, starting a mobility program has quickly alleviated these ills and proven my physical therapists had it right all along. After witnessing a client heal chronic back issues with GMB, its what I have chosen to implement this past month and I am sold on it. I am not an affiliate and receive no compensation for recommending these guys - they just offer a solid product that has won me over. For example, it’s actually not boring, and it appears to have allowed me to recover pace times I was fighting for in a short period of time. I’m still working on integrating this habit, but I am now taking the stepchild out of the attic and giving her a proper seat at the dinner table.
Vanity running metrics aside, stretching keeps us mobile and fluid in our movements, allowing us to take advantage of full range of motion that, when inhibited, can lead to compensations that result in injuries, from torn rotator cuffs to osteoarthritis as we adjust our movements to compensate or try to move beyond what we are now capable of. Mobility work also allows us to quickly react to trips and stumbles without falling, as the increased range of motion without muscle tearing allows for that split second ability to rebalance and catch ourselves. Stretching and mobility work is not just for those who are already active, it is also essential for those trapped behind a desk or steering wheel to ensure that they stay able to move when they want to. These movements also bring fluid into the joints and muscles, nourishing them and keeping them healthy as the decades go on.
Relationships - it is easy to let relationships slide as we are building our career and raising our families, and without the ease of an established community of school chums it is increasingly hard to maintain relationships as the years go on. In my 40s, I’ve begun to reprioritize connecting with friends and making new ones who are more aligned with my values and emotional needs, choosing these over pursuit of additional career goals or hobbies. I more actively reach out to others not just to schedule coffee dates, but to let them know I am thinking of them and value their presence in my life. If we are lucky, we will live long enough to retire, and our relationships will be one of the few things left to make our lives meaningful. I have also found that in this stage of life, with children who’s hormones are fluctuating as wildly as mine are and with aging parents increasingly in my thoughts, that having someone to talk to who has the freedom of the give and take that no therapist can fulfill is increasingly important.
Community is one of the foundational components of aging well. While so much attention on Blue Zones have been about what they eat, the reality is that all these communities also prioritize community and relationships across the lifespan. There is no age within them where one is no longer useful. There is no age group that is not meaningful. Loneliness is an epidemic in most Western Industrialized Nations, and our neglect of the very simple fact that we are social animals is to our detriment.
If you are finding you need more community in your life, I encourage you to reach out to people you already know, who you miss, and just say hello. This is the easiest and quickest way to get connected. Let them know you are thinking of them, and that you’d love to get together in person, on Zoom, or via phone - whichever is appropriate. When you do meet up, don’t let the meeting end without scheduling another. If we leave it at “Lets do this again soon!” it will never happen. The whole fucking decade of my thirties proved this. We are all too busy and distracted to leave these important connections to convenience.
If you are at a place where you are starting from scratch, getting out of the house and going to community events is a good place to start. From activist groups to knitting circles, you next bestie could easily be within reach. I have found it takes a lot more time and patience to make friends nowadays, but as with any important endeavor, persistence pays off. Being supported and receiving support and sharing laughter and memories together are among the greatest gifts we can give one another.
Gratitude - the school of hard knocks can make you a tough old bird, or they can inspire you to sing louder when skies are clear. I choose the latter, for my own self-preservation and endurance, as the women in my family live a very long time and I haven’t the tenacity to live into my 90s being miserable. Maintaining gratitude and keeping a healthy perspective of how much worse things could actually be has given me the intestinal fortitude to endure nearly a decade of online dating before hitting the jackpot, persevere through outrageous bureaucracy to get a visa and move to a European country, and take advantage of what I still can achieve physically rather than mourn what I have lost, as this would ultimately cause me to throw in the towel completely.
Now, I am no Pollyanna, but I do not allow myself to wallow in any misfortune for too long, because it does me no good to do so. When my mind weasels get too frisky I look at the long arm of history and can easily rejoice in the reality that I have more rights and liberties at my age than my grandmother did when she was my age, that I do not live in a war zone, that I am not a refugee, and that all bad things come to an end. All good things do too, which is not something to grieve, per se, but simply reminds me to stop and fully embrace the goodness that comes to me.
Our mindset is a crucial component to aging well. Fatalism and nihilism suck out the motivation and hope needed to make effective changes in life, and to adapt to the inevitability of change. If there’s no point and no control, then why work at anything to improve your odds? By noticing and acknowledging what we can be grateful for, even if it is the tiniest thing, we feed ourselves a dose of hope and positivity that makes getting out of bed worthwhile and makes persisting towards challenging goals more achievable. After two decades of working in the nutrition field, I will tell you that every single client who came in with a strong attachment to being a victim of their health condition or body weight, who was unwilling to acknowledge even the smallest of wins in reduced blood sugar or body weight, ended up throwing in the towel and walking away. I have had single people who had all the money and time they needed give up when their initial expectations weren’t met, only to walk into another appointment the same day where an overworked mom of three was grateful to have made less progress in twice as much time. One person understood that the process is not linear and not all variables that lead to success can be controlled, and the other threw in the towel because the scale did not progress to their liking as quickly as it used to.
You cannot choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you respond. No one can take that from you. If you’ve not yet read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” do so immediately. Listen to it in traffic, put a copy at your bedside table, suck up that wisdom. We are all lucky to have the ability to get our hands on this timeless tome. Depending upon where you are at in your life, it could radically change everything for you.
Eckhardt Tolle’s The Power of Now is another good read - especially if you are worried about the future or beating the shit out of yourself for past mistakes. This is an excellent tool to help you step out of those ruminating habits and acknowledge what is present and true rather than what could be or might have been.
I have a few sayings that have become mantras to help me remember these things and keep life in perspective. One is, “Any day you don’t dump a rental car in a river full of crocodiles is a good day.” and the other is, “If you’re not dead in a ditch, you’re ok.” I have also adopted, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” to help remind me to only invest my time and energy into that which I am personally responsible for and have agency over, rather than get entangled in drama from any energy vampires or attention whores. I repeat that to myself when I start to get sucked in.
The first two do have personal stories behind them, the latter appears to be a Polish proverb I picked up somewhere over the last three years. If you can create a mantra or affirmation that reflects how far you’ve come or how whatever is going on isn’t the worst it’s been for you, it can hold more power and meaning. As for the Polish proverb, well, both the circus and monkeys have some personal meaning to me so that’s probably why it stuck so well.
I have found that having these sayings at the ready when I get my headspace in a certain way has become an almost immediate remedy to my own internal drama. Recently, I have been tested with a unexpected event which has the statistically probability of significantly altering my future in a way I am not excited about. These mantras, coupled with reflecting on how much worse it all could have been, and staying grateful for all that I do have in this moment, has allowed me to weather uncertainty, drama, and life-altering events with a demeanor that has shocked some family members and even impressed myself (and I have been accused multiple times of setting my own bar unreasonably high). Had I not done all this work on appreciating all I do have, had I not had an interest in the history of cultures and all the crazy shit humanity has done throughout the ages, had I not come back to focus on the things I do have agency over, I would be a fucking hot mess right now.
The stress of it all would likely have made my sleep worse, negatively impacted my joyride through perimenopause, cause me to neglect my health habits entirely, and disrupted family harmony. This is not unique to me, of course. My clients over the years have also modeled to me what can still be celebrated and accomplished in the face of adversity. Their willingness to show up for themselves even when they tell me it doesn’t make sense to and they don’t want to strengthens and affirms their commitment and their resilience, and this trickles down to results. It’s a glorious thing to behold. They proved to me what is possible before I needed to lean on it myself. And I am so grateful to them for this.
So these 7 things are the habits I am leaning into in this decade. Pick one or two - whichever feels most appealing to you - and get started. Layer on additional ones you feel you would benefit from as you are able. I did not start all these at once, it is just what I have been accumulating over the last decade, most of them in fits and starts and wholly imperfectly. Just keep at it, and eventually it will become second nature!
Resources:
Concerned About Mercury in Seafood?
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